So something happened to me today that actually upset me a little bit. I'm not an easy person to irritate, so you can imagine my surprise as the endorphins kicked in, and I felt the urge to punch another individual in the mouth.
The truth is, I am partly at fault for this entire fiasco happening in the first place. You see, I just recently graduated from college, I've been working full-time, I've been very sick, I injured my knee, and I am frantically searching for a new place to live. Needless to say, a few of my things are still in my old room on campus at Ecclesia College. This is my fault, and I've been working my butt off to get them moved. Also, I've been in close contact with the correct people at Ecclesia to ensure that it was still okay that I haven't been able to find a new home for my possessions.
So here's what went down. This morning, a gentleman whom I used to live with in one of the apartments that the school owns (and where my things currently reside) texted me to talk about the items that are still in my old room. I told him that I'd been in contact with the school and unless he'd heard specifically from *person who will remain anonymous*, and had new information, he had no need to worry about it. I also added that I was at work and shouldn't be texting, much less making personal phone calls on my boss' dime. I guess this guy wasn't too pleased with my response, read my texts out of context, or felt like I was being demeaning because he got the bright idea to come to where I work to attempt to teach me a lesson.
This guy shows up while I'm putting together a proposal for a potential client and begins the "conversation" by saying, "I just came up here to let you know that I was trying to reach out to you kindly, and you responded like a child and were very demeaning." Well, for starters, I'll be honest. After the fifth text that I received from him that didn't tell me what he wanted from me...I may have gotten a little demeaning. I mean, if you're going to tell me that you need to talk to me via a text message, then be prepared to have a full conversation that way. Don't text me and then tell me you refuse to have a conversation through text...that's retarded. Especially when what you have to tell me will take you less than 160 characters worth of english.
So, he comes to where I work and opens with that line that obviously made me super excited to see him, and then he proceeds to act like I had committed some unforgivable crime against his apparently fragile pride. I was just remaining calm, because Iwas at my desk in the lobby where I work, and he was getting so mad that he was literally shaking and stuttering through what he was trying to say. My very first question to him, and one that I had asked him through text message earlier was, "Have you talked to *anonymous person* and asked her about my situation so that you understand where I'm coming from, and what the school has offered me?" He replied, "yes". I found out about two second into our conversation that he had obviously lied to me. He had no clue what he was talking about or what I had discussed with the school, and the more I cited emails I had traded with Ecclesia, the more angry he became. After about two minutes of him accusing and threatening me, I asked him to take the conversation outside because I was starting to get irritated that he thought it was okay for him to just walk into a respected place of business and talk the way he was talking.
Outside, he and I traded a few more words, and I expressed to him once again that I had no time for his ignorant accusations and name-calling (by the way, do you guys think of me as being childish?). He spat a few more insults my way and then final walked away with a huff and a threat to go and move all of my belongings. I calmly walked back inside, made one phone call to the wonderful people who I had been talking to before. Had them shut him down, and I requested that he not be allowed to ever touch my things since he's mad at me and I have very expensive items sitting in that room.
Through all of this, I wasn't upset with the name-calling, accusations, threats, or even the ignorance of the situation that he exhibited. I was seriously upset that he thought that it was okay for him to just walk into a place where somebody works and talk the way he did. I mean seriously, how does a late twenty-something guy who works as a wait-assistant at a restaurant, bums off a broke school that hired him because of his brother, and still sits on his butt playing his Playstation 2 every night get it in his head that it's okay for him to go and jeopardize someones' who's trying career?. You really have to be pretty narcissistic, rude, and self-conscious to allow a couple text messages to hurt your pride so badly that you feel the need to go to someone's job while they are working and try to give them a piece of your mind...I mean seriously, it really bothers me that some people don't try at all to succeed in life; yet, they feel like they have the right to tell everyone else that they're wrong. I work hard, and I have been trying endlessly to get my things off campus. Yet, this guy has the nerve to come to me and tell me that I'm a free-loader and a child who needs to grow up (mind you he says this while I'm at my full-time day job)?
Ridiculous...(Just for the record, I added a wonderful 500 word rant about Ecclesia here, but decided to take it out because even though I was correct in what I wrote; it wasn't appropriate for this post. Almost as inappropriate as getting offended by a text message that you misread, going to someone's job, and making ignorant accusations and empty threats)...
Okay, rant over...
-Matt
It always intrigues me how people like to take their private disputes public. I would be happy to talk to you about this situation personally if you are willing. I don't know its origin but I recently saw a quote that said, "Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." I know that you have your battles, but have you considered that just as others may not see your struggles you may have the full picture of the load they are carrying. I'm not defending the actions of either party, but I would like to encourage you to consider your actions against Philippians 2. - Nic Stice
ReplyDeleteThanks for the offer to be, "Kinder than necessary." However, I think I'll pass on your offer and leave the issue to rest because the other party was out of line and misinformed. I have since taken steps to resolve the situation, and I don't see a reason why you would be the person with whom I should discuss the events. At any rate, that's a pretty good Plato quote, but you probably heard it from Charles Swindoll...they both said it (other obscure sources would include: T.H. Thompson, John Watson, and Philo - Although Philo's was a paraphrase). Nic, you know I have a ton of respect for you, and I know I shouldn't have posted this; but honestly,...I meant what I said. And now, whether it was right to post it publicly or not is irrelevant.
ReplyDelete-Matt
Matt, I am less bothered by the fact that you posted it, but that you harbored these feelings in your heart. The question I have is how does the vitriol and libel in this post line up with your bio line at the top right of this page? Either the post is wrong or the "about me" is wrong--they are not compatible. We all get angry at times, but you had an opportunity to get this off your chest with the "person who will remain anonymous" not to mention hours to cool down before making this post. I truly want to see you reach the goals stated in your bio, and I will call you soon to discuss this further both from my position overseeing facilities at EC and as your friend. Surely you know that the "person who will remain anonymous" answers to me on such campus matters and has been updating me on your communications both before and after this incident. My desire is to see reconciliation like the Believers should. I hope we can talk soon. - Nic Stice
ReplyDeleteNic, I really don't think you understand what took place from my perspective, and I also don't think you understand the tone of my writing. This is understandable because for the past almost 4 years, you have not taken the time to get to know me. You only know me by what you hear other people say, or by the few times you've spoken to me to tell me that you think I'm wrong. So, I will tell you again that I decline your invitation to speak with me concerning this matter. I suppose it is hard for you to actually form a proper opinion of EC students since you just listen to complaints all day. But honestly, this is just one of those things where it is really not your place to be reprimanding me. In fact, you should be apologizing to me for the actions of this person who works for you. My co-workers, who saw what happened, were amazed that someone would even think of doing something like what he did, and they would have thrown him out if I had not asked him to step outside to continue the conversation. You talk about my witness as if I am some hypocritical heathen who was incredibly angry when I wrote this. I would submit the fact that you're backing the guy who got upset and made the poor decision. For a man who preached professionalism my first year at EC, and then followed it up by preaching diligence the next; it sure feels like you haven't been very diligent about emphasizing professionalism to your own staff. My point is this: I gave this guy every opportunity to calm down while he was talking to me, I asked him multiple times to explain to me where his bitterness was coming from so we could work things out, and I explained my texts to him; which he took WAY out of context. What transpired, is what I wrote. I did not harbor any bitter feelings towards this guy, and I didn't seethe over the situation until I had the chance to write a blog post about him. No, I just blogged about what happened to me on Monday, and how I felt about it. This post wasn't just about the person who works with/for you, it was about the state of professionalism in our society and how I see it slipping. This post came on the back of something that happened to me at a Taco Bell the week before, but no, you had to take it as a direct shot and a bitter, angry, and hurtful post. If this guy didn't want to be blogged about, he should have listened when I said to him that we should discuss the situation later after he had a chance to cool down and when I wasn't working. I am done talking about this now and I have moved on. So, if you want to falsely accuse me of libel, go ahead, and keep in mind that to prove libel you must be able to prove: 1.Fault 2.Harm 3.Defamation 4.Identification, and 5.Publication (I'm sure you've learned that from the business law class that I really hope you've taken). Also, to say that my post is full of "Vitriol" is unfair because that implies malicious/vicious intent - I assure you, there was none intended (Way to expand your vocabulary for Graduate school though - even though that's a poor usage of a word that is a chemical acid). If you've talked to the other person that I've been in contact with; you'll know by now that I am trying to rent a storage unit and will have that room cleaned as soon as possible. Best of luck with the freshman students.
ReplyDelete-Matt
Matt, I am not jumping into any discussions or arguments here. But I do want you to know that I believe good writing should be open and vulnerable and full of heartfelt emotion to really connect with the reader. I think you have done a good job of that without naming the person involved. As you age you may find these displays of other's immaturity and disrespect(re: showing up at your job angry) to be less surprising, but still, you have touched on a real human experience that most of us can relate to in one way or another.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, Thanks, I really appreciate your comment...
ReplyDelete