I read a post from my old blog today that I posted during a very dark time in my life. In the post, I wrote about the idea of me getting married and what I thought God was telling me about my future espousal endeavors. Ha! Oh boy, was I wrong!
As I read through the lines of angst and bitter misinterpretation I had written, I realized that God was trying to speak to me back then. However, my mind was so focused on what I wanted to hear that I was incapable of understanding the things He was telling me that I needed to hear. You see, I had this preconceived notion that I was a great catch and that I deserved to have a wife whenever I felt that I was ready. Unfortunately, there are a couple flaws with that mindset.
The first flaw with that mindset was the fact that I was not a great catch. . .not even a good one. I was very self-centered, mildly arrogant (but really only because I was very self-conscious), and I had my priorities all out-of-order.
Another flaw I found that coincides with the mindset I had is the reality that I do not truly deserve anything. Not to mention the fact that women are not things to be had, but instead, they are treasures to be sought after. Women deserve to be cherished and served, not disrespected and used. I was WAY off base. The truth is, I am a depraved sinner who deserves nothing but death, and only by the grace of God am I capable of doing anything.
The last flaw that I will mention is that I do not determine when I am ready for anything. God is in complete control and knows the plans that He has for me. Even if I am ready to be married, God may still be preparing the heart of the woman whom I am to love. . .Thus, I must remain patient.
All that to say this: My take on relationships is simple; wait on the Lord and pursue a woman who loves Him far more than she could ever love me. I do not like the concept of dating. I feel like it just puts too much pressure on a friendship/relationship, and ultimately, it sets couples up to fail. However, I do not necessarily think a strict form of courtship is the best route either because it can be far too impersonal.
There is a whole lot more I could say on this subject, but since I've been single for almost three years now, I'll leave it up to the experts to write the lengthy essays. Let me know what you think. I love feedback and I really enjoy reading/listening to other people's opinions.
-Matt
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