The First Storm of the Season

The rain inspires me. The exhilaration of watching lightning streak across the sky, and the soothing sound of rolling thunder in the distance calms my mind and makes my heart happy. God has used thunder storms in big ways in my life in the past, and tonight was no exception. The first storm of the spring season has my mind racing with new thoughts and ideas. God has been teaching me so much this past week, and tonight He is challenging me to take another step towards His will. I know that I need to go to sleep in a few minutes, but if I didn't have responsibilities I would stay up all night to listen to the storm and Jesus. Sorry, this is another one of my vague (and poorly written) posts, but I need to keep this one to myself. This has been a very good week (despite a lot of bad things happening), and I am excited about the future that God has for me. Praise Jesus for the rain!

~Matt

Where did the Weekend Go?

I think I've forgotten what a weekend is. I know I just experienced one, but I think it was just as busy as my Monday through Friday schedule. Saturdays have quickly become my least favorite day of the week, and Friday definitly isn't much of a treat. Even Sunday, my favorite day of the week, is really busy. I really need a break, but I just can't seem to find any time to take one. I'm absolutely exhausted.

~Matt

"A Man After God's Own Heart"

"A man after God's own heart." David is one of my heroes, and one of my goals in life is to be a man after God's own heart like he was. I think the thing I admire most about David is that he wasn't perfect. He was just a normal guy who God chose to be king, and he never took that for granted. David made a lot of mistakes throughout his life, but every time he made a mistake he cried out to God and dropped to his knees to confess his sins to God. David, like Moses, is a man that I want to be a mirror image of. I've made my fair share of mistakes (and I'm sure there are many more to come), but I want to handle them the way David did; on my knees, head bowed, with my hands held high as I cry out to my Lord and Savior. I love reading about David, what a great example of what a real man should be.

~Matt

Where is the Red Sea?

Moses was adopted into royalty, he killed a man, got chased out of Egypt, had a massive fear of failure, and made excuses to get out of being God's chosen man. I want to be like Moses. Moses was a man who recognized he had sinned, he repented, overcame his fear of failure, and lead a nation out of captivity because of his trust in God. I've made some big mistakes in my life and have struggled with my fear of failing for quite some time, but I recognize that I've done wrong and God forgives and redeems. He has chosen me, and now I'm making the decision to throw away my hopes, dreams, and easy suburban life for the cause of Jesus Christ. I want to be readily available when the Lord calls my name, and I can only hope that He'll use me to change a nation. Moses changed from a man who was nervous and insecure, into a confident man of God who lead an entire nation. That's encouragement enough for me to trust the Lord. I want to be like Moses.

~Matt

Car troubles + God's grace = Amazing Love

God's love is so incredible!! I love Him so much. Yesterday morning my car started to die on my way to class. I was able to make it into the parking lot, but I couldn't drive my car home. I had a moment of panic, but then God stepped in and told me not to worry about it. He reminded me that I need to trust Him to take care of me and all of my needs. When my car stopped working I thought it was going to be something very serious/expensive to fix, but it only ended up costing me about $50 which is absolutely incredible. Praise Jesus!

~Matt

ME Diminishing...

This last weekend was one of the hardest of my life, but through it all God taught me a valuable lesson. I had a very busy Valentine's Day and I thought that having a full schedule would help me ignore all the couples, but instead it had the opposite effect. The fact of the matter is that I spent the entire day trying to ignore the people I was envious of, and it just made everything worse. I told myself that I would spend the day with Jesus, but my times with Him weren't very good at all (I lied in my last post). I was allowing myself and my own desires to get in the way of my relationship with God. My focus was on what I wanted and not on what He wants for me. I couldn't help but think about what Valentine's Day could have been if I hadn't made mistakes in the past, and I really beat myself up on Saturday. I was absolutely miserable and I felt worthless, but Jesus and my friends really picked me back up. I talked to one of my best friend's girlfriend, and she reminded me that just because I've made mistakes in my past doesn't mean that I can't still have a wonderful relationship in the future. Then on Sunday my best friend reminded me that I need to rely on Jesus in my hard times because I do not have the strength to do this on my own. I am so thankful for my friends who are willing to remind me that I need to keep my focus on Jesus. The cry of my heart and the passion in my soul is to run blindly into action for the Lord. I've realized this weekend that I still have a lot of junk inside of me that I haven't given to Jesus yet, and it's going to take some time, but I'm finally going give up the rest of my life to the Lord. I will never become the man that God wants me to be unless I give up the rest of myself. The burden that I've allowed myself to carry is keeping me from putting on the full armor of God, and I'm going to need that armor if I want to be a warrior for Jesus.

Thank you to all of my friends who keep me on the narrow path that leads to Jesus. You all mean the world to me.

~Matt

I Have Some Splainin` to Do

Ok, so I feel bad about the bitterness expressed in my previous post. Sorry, Valentine's Day in general is just a very hard day for me, and this year it is especially hard. I have a broken heart, and today has been helpful for the healing process, but it has hurt so badly. There is a weight on my shoulders that I know only Jesus can take off, but it seems like He's only taking a little bit off at a time. I'm really struggling and I feel so alone. I'm thankful for my friend Jim because he is going to come over tonight just to hang out with me. I think he knows how much I need it right now; I haven't actually spent time with anyone in over two weeks. I feel awful that he is spending Valentine's Night with me and not his girlfriend, but selfishly I don't want to be home alone tonight. I know that I'm never alone because Jesus is here, but after so long without intellectual, face-to-face, human interaction, I feel so alone. Jesus and I have had a good day together. I had a stressful class and a hard night at work, but He gave me the strength to endure. Valentine's Day has always been a very hard day for me, and today was no exception. This year I had Jesus by my side though, and that made is bareable.

"Can your heart endure, or can your hands be strong in the days that I will deal with you? I, the LORD, have spoken and will act." ~Ezekiel 22:14

~Matt

Just Another Day...

I do this every year, and anyone who knows me knows that I don't necessarily think that Valentines Day should even be a holiday. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think Valentines Day is a holiday created by the greeting card companies, chocolate manufacturers, flower shops, and single guys looking for their shot at "love." I think it's wonderful that guys want to do something special for their girlfriends and wives on Valentines Day, but I don't like that we've had to set aside a day to help us remember. If a man is truly pursuing a woman, shouldn't he go out of his way to do little things to make her feel special all the time? The answer is yes guys. It is not a difficult (or expensive) task to write a letter or buy a flower every once in awhile. And when I say write a letter, I mean WRITE a letter. Don't go to the store and buy some cheesy card and sign your name! Oh goodness, Valentine's Day frustrates me. It's just so sad that Google's most common search this past week was "when is Valentine's Day", and that was closely followed by, "Cheap engagement rings." Come on guys! Are we really that dense? I want to write a law that states every man must watch a movie made between 1930 and 1950 every day until they understand what a real man looks like.

I dedicate this post to all of the guys who think Valentine's Day is just another day on the pursuit for their princesses. Keep up the good work gentlemen.

~Matt

Treasure Hunt

"The gospel life is an adventure, plain and simple. It says in the Bible, 'Narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.' The word "Narrow" literally means, 'Compressed, a path of pressure and difficulty.' It's no wonder 'few there be that find it.'"
~Eric Ludy

So, Eric Ludy is pretty much my hero (other than Jesus that is). I have been reading his book "The Bravehearted Gospel", and it has been absolutely life changing. Today I was reading a chapter in which Eric was talking about how God challenges us so that we don't take Him for granted. Ludy compares the quest for God to a quest for buried treasure. He makes the point that even though we all have a treasure map (the Bible) most people choose to not search for the treasure because it's too hard. We first have to have faith that there even is a treasure at the end of the map, and then we need to be willing to take on the pain and suffering, grow a backbone full of courage, and chase after the treasure we believe in.

Right now my backbone is small, but it's there, and it's growing every day. There are growing pains, but as they say in the military, "pain is only weakness leaving the body." Lets get our maps out and go after that treasure.

~Matt

20 Years and Counting

Valentines Day is only a few days away, and this year has been so much different than any other Valentines Day for me. I've never felt lonely around this time of year, but this year has been a struggle. My lack of a social life and the stress from my busy schedule are causing serious anguish inside of me, and I don't understand it. There are so many thoughts going through my head this week, and I can't help but wonder how different life could be. I know that God has me right where He wants me to be right now and I love what He is doing in my life, but even with Him so close; I feel so alone. I have always viewed Valentines Day as an excuse of a holiday created by the greeting card companies to make an extra buck after Christmas, but something seems different this year. Something inside of me longs to have someone to send a Valentine too, but I know that these feelings are misplaced and inappropriate. So, once again, I will spend my twentieth consecutive year as a single man, and I will not be sending any Valentines. Right now I have my Jesus to hold onto, and that is all I need.

~Matt

Going Through the Motions

"The Motions" by Matthew West

"This might hurt, it's not safe/

But I know that I've gotta make a change/

I don't care if I break/

At least I'll be feeling something'/

Cause just okay is not enough/

Help me fight through the nothingness of life/

I don't wanna go through the motions/

I don't wanna go one more day/

without Your all consuming passion inside of me/

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking/

"What if I had given everything/

instead of going through the motions?"/

No regrets, not this time/

I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind/

Let Your love make me whole/

I think I'm finally feeling something/

'Cause just okay is not enough/

Help me fight through the nothingness of this life/

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions/

I don't wanna go one more day/

without Your all consuming passion inside of me/

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking/

"What if I had given everything/

instead of going through the motions?"/

take me all the way (take me all the way)/

take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)/

take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)/

take me all the way/

I don't wanna go through the motions/

I don't wanna go one more day/

without Your all consuming passion inside of me/

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking/

"What if I had given everything/

instead of going through the motions?"/

I don't wanna go through the motions/

I don't wanna go one more day/

without Your all consuming passion inside of me/

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking/

"What if I had given everything/

instead of going through the motions?"/

take me all the way (take me all the way)/

take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)/

take me all the way (through the motions)/

take me all the way/

I don't wanna go through the motions."

I heard this song tonight while I was driving home from work...It's so powerful, and really inspires me to take my relationship with Jesus to the next level.

~Matt

Loneliness, and a Few Prayer Requests

I have a very busy schedule. I'm not going to complain because I got myself into this mess, but I am concerned about my social life. The past couple of weeks I've been so busy that I haven't even realized how much time I've spent alone. My daily routine consists of me getting up at 7am every morning, having my quiet time, going to school, and then I'm home for a couple of hours before work. When I am home I pretty much just do homework in my room. You see the problem? I don't spend any time with anyone, and I am definitly not surrounding myself with other Christians. I have had some great times with the Lord these past few weeks, but sometimes I just need to discuss what I'm learning with someone to help me understand it. I need some sort of spiritual leadership or mentoring, but I don't have a source for that right now. It's very frustrating. Please keep praying for me, here are a few specific areas that I need prayer for:

-I need a consistent church to attend
-I need to find some Christian friends
-Healing in my relationship with my dad.
-Rest

Thank you guys for your prayers...I'm praying for you too.

~Matt

The Template That Took Too Long

I realized today that I made a wise choice when I decided to forego my plans to become a video game programmer. This afternoon it took me the better part of three hours to get this new template to work, and I found out later that I was only missing a semi-colon in my html. Oh well, I guess I just wasn't born to write lines of code/script for the rest of my life. Anyways, I think this new background is here to stay for awhile...

~Matt

New Domain

I have decided to relocate for a few reasons actually. Mainly, I just wanted to be able to use my normal gmail account to sign into blogger, and partly because I didn't like the old URL.

The name of this new blog is "The Narrow Path" because that is what I am currently walking on. In the past, I have strayed off of this narrow path that leads directly towards God for other things, and every time I was had to come crawling back to this path on my knees ashamed of what I had done. My goal here is to honor God with every word that I write (even when I'm frustrated/confused/bitter/etc.), and to provide you some insight into my life. I can't guarantee any sort of theme on my blog because I like to post in more of a "round robin" fashion. I'll pull topics out of nowhere...I promise.

~Matt