Let me begin by saying that God is faithful and He is always good. He has broken me down and put me back together again, and this time I'm even stronger than before.
I have often said that I want to be known as a man like David, who was a man after God's own heart; however, I am ashamed to admit that for the past 10 months I have been anything but that. I have been selfish, immature, hipocritical, and fake. I've made a lot of poor decisions, and I've been running away from everything that I know God has called me to.
God has been working hard on my heart this summer, and through much prayer and dissapointment I've realized how selfish my desire to go to college for a business degree was. God has made it quite clear to me that I am not supposed to go a state school, and I believe that He is calling me to go to seminary. Now, I do still plan on starting my own business/ministry, but this time I want to be sure that it's the Lord's. I will not allow myself to get in the way of His will any longer.
I am back at Ecclesia College for about 3 semesters (I found out today that I'll be a senior after the fall semester). It is very dificult for me to be here, but I know it is where God wants me to be. I've been experiencing a lot of healing in my heart that I thought I had already dealt with, and for the first time since I left Ecclesia I feel connected with God. My times with Him have been incredible every day, and I am learning so many new and exciting things about my Jesus.
Academically, this is a change of pace for me, but I'm really excited about where God is taking me. There are still so many unanswered questions about my future, but I finally feel confident that God will show me what I need to know, when I need to know...because His timing is perfect.
God Bless,
~Matt
(Romans 12:1-2)
I am so excited for you, Matt! God has such great things in store for you. I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Matt, we haven't met but my dear niece, Melanie, has spoken of you. I linked to your blog today and I do hope that you do not mind me commenting. Here it goes....
ReplyDeleteHave you considered what you ask when you say you want to be like David? Yes, David was a man after God's heart. That's the good. (Also a loyal friend) The bad: he was a terrible husband and father. Clearly, he did not seek God in all areas of his life.
Yes be a man seeking God, but be the man God called you to be. You are created in HIS image! He has given you everything you need for this life to love and serve others. (Other focused, not self focused) Your story will be different. Praise God!
We walk through trials to be changed, even if some may be self-induced. In the process we see how great He is and how much we need His grace and mercy. It is a good place to be; although, it is painful. I have a friend who says, "Pain is not a bad thing. It is merely information to be used. It helps us see our need." We see our need and the cross just keeps getting bigger.
Press on brother! You are where you should be. Thank you for indulging me.
Sorry, one more. I'm on a roll.
ReplyDeleteI will tell you that even with walking with the Lord for 27 yrs, there are times I still run from Him. You are not alone. But He is Faithful. He is always there awaiting my return.
Thank you for your blog. You have encouraged me!
No! Thank you, for encouraging me! This is exactly what I needed to hear today, and there is no way that you could know how much you have blessed me with your kind words.
ReplyDeleteI actually hadn't thought much about David being a poor father and husband, but now that you mention it, I see some of his selfish tendencies within myself and my relationships. Something to work on I suppose.
"Be the man God called you to be." That may be the thing I struggle with the most right now. I have an idea, but not a clear vision of who that man is. I'll be explaining in a little more detail, with my next post, kind of where I feel like God is calling me. I realized that I write quite a bit about starting a ministry/business, but I haven't shared with anyone (other than Melanie) the details of what it is going to look like.
Thanks again for the encouragement!
-Matt